purpose.

purpose.
what is purpose and why do i feel the overwhelming urge to have one? why cant i just live my life?
right now im unemployed for the first time in my life and im thinking to myself, why am i here? after i die i will not be remembered by anybody. well, thats a lie, my family and friends will cry for a day and morn for a few weeks or months. my kids will always remember their daddy but when they die... nobody. why is it so important for me to be remembered? i don't even know what i want to be remembered for really. we all remember Hitler... shit, i envy that. he was an evil man who wanted to take over the word but i still envy him because we all know the name.
Hitler has a purpose and he set to make it a reality.
i dunno... my mind is so full of questions but every time i go try and answer one, i get two more. i feel like there is so much more to life than going to work so i can buy more of what i don't need. every job i have ever had i've hated, i see them as pointless and unfulfilling. people tell me that this is just the way of the world and that i should get used to it. fuuuck that. why should i just let the world bull me over? i know im not a beautiful and unique snowflake but, goddamnit, i feel like i am more than what i do for a living.